When listening is everything you ever wanted

Mindfulness
Char Wilkins
Conversations on Mindfulness & Therapy
listening
MBCT
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy
MBSR
Mindfulness-Based Interventions
Stress Reduction
Susan Woods
Teaching Mindfulness
Useful Tips and Tools

On the opening page of Mark Nepos’s book Seven Thousand Ways to Listen, he quotes an epigraph by Abraham Heschel:

[We] will not perish for want of information; but only for want of appreciation . . . What we lack is not a will to believe but a will to wonder . . . Reverence is one of [our] answers to the presence of mystery . . .

There is a longing for connection that we all experience and repeatedly hear as participants in our MBCT and MBSR programs speak of disappointment, fear and hope. And we notice that as we cultivate the ability to listen to each one of them, we begin to hear the themes of need and desire that weave us together in our collective humanness. We begin to hear that indeed, no one is alone in the tangle we call life.

Nepo believes that if we limit our existence to only what we know, we blind ourselves to the “mystery.” Mystery is about open-eyed wonder, appreciation and gratitude. So when we engage in mindful listening, in which our conditioned mind and heart open in sincere and kindly curiosity, we create a pathway not only to the mystery of what is present in each moment, but to the possibility of a peaceful connection to self and others.

We ask our clients and participants to listen not because it’s a Mindful Rule, but because listening is a threshold between our inner and outer worlds. It’s an entryway to pause in, a vantage point from where we can see our own limiting beliefs and also the possibility of choice. From this doorway we can begin to hear harmonies that strike a chord within, where perhaps before we only heard the dissonance that isolated and left us feel disconnected from ourselves and others.

In our teaching, we become aware that it isn’t the dissemination of information that connects people intra and interpersonally, but rather being listened to- their story heard and appreciated. We may call it group dynamics or breaking the isolation or normalizing, but in the end I believe it is simply the reverence of listening. This is what MBCT and MBSR offer teacher and participants: the possibility of discovery through wonder and freedom through listening.

About the Author

Char Wilkins

Char Wilkins, MSW, LCSW, is a mindfulness-based psychotherapist who works with individuals, couples and groups incorporating the intention and skills of mindfulness as a foundation from which to explore one’s life. She specializes in working with stress-related physical and emotional issues, with women who have experienced childhood abuse and trauma, and those who suffer with depression, anxiety and disordered eating.

Char is certified as a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) teacher by the Center for Mindfulness, UMass Medical School, Worcester, MA. She teaches MBSR, Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), and Mindful Eating/Conscious Living (MECL) for the general public.

She leads professional trainings in MECL, MBSR, an Adv. training for MBCT and MBSR teachers. Char maintains a longstanding personal meditation practice and is currently studying Qigong and Taijiquan. She provides one-on-one consultation for professionals who wish to incorporate mindfulness into their work. She is a member of the Advisory Board of The Center for Mindful Eating and is the owner/director of the Center for Mindful Living, LLC and A Mindful Path, LLC in Connecticut.